Today

Today I woke up and Alan had been up since 4:30, watching the Chargers' game, in my little prayer room.  Since the game wasn't finished yet, I thought I'd wait.

So, I got my coffee, turned on the computer, checked email and made a couple of phone calls.

WHAT A MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the past 15 years, the Lord has been drawing me into a deeper walk with Him. Here is a little history for those who might not understand.

I came to know Christ in 1975. And His Holy Spirit came upon me like in Acts 10:44-45.  I didn't know Acts 10: 44-45, but I knew that when I walked out of that church, I knew that God walked with me.  I came to know about all the other aspects of my personal relationship with God.  But the actual living out the truth of John 15:5 did not happen. Was it really true that apart from Him I can do nothing?  In the reality of my daily decisions was He Lord?  Did I go to Him first and listened to what He wanted me to do?

Fast forward to 1998, after our fantastic trip around the world, God gifted us with our son, Isaiah. With a full time job and a new baby, I was pretty much walking in daily exhaustion.  Then at the end of 1999, God surprised us with our sweet daughter, Abigail.  If I thought I was exhausted before, then I can't describe what it was like to walk around being in a constant daze.  It was at that point in my life that the LORD brought the reality of John 15:5.

So, since then I have come to realize that apart from Him I can do nothing. Every morning before I do anything else (I do make myself a cup of coffee) I go into my little prayer room.  I love that hour. It often is NOT enough.  I come out knowing that the day is in God's hands, not mine.

Well, today... I didn't do that FIRST. I didn't go and just sit at Jesus' feet.  And by 8:30, I was completely feeling overwhelmed and the tasks of the day flooded my life. I had to STOP. And I mean literally STOP because the phone wouldn't stop ringing and I was bombarded with 'emergencies'. I went into the prayer room and asked God to forgive me.  And I told Him, I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN.  HE IS PREEMINENT. HE IS LORD, MASTER, SHEPHERD, KING of my life. And I want to live with that as absolute reality.

I came out at 10a.m. and somehow, HE JUST PUT A STOP TO THE FLOOD GATE OF TASKS. He just closed the panic feelings of all the 'things' that called out to me.  And He took me through all the emergencies that had come like fiery darts upon me in the morning.  REALLY!!!!!

I praise His name. I thank Him for giving me today to remind me what my life 'was' like... and I don't want to go back... NO WAY...


Seek Him First!